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Who am I?

Every morning, I look in the mirror and ask myself...who am I today?

I have multiple personalities and they can change by the hour. I am a wife, a friend, a mentor, a mother and a manager.

There are moments when I'm not sure who I am. I try to manage my identity crisis with calm and grace...that's my goal, but I do struggle with it.

As my career here at Honeywell has advanced, I find myself more at odds with my identity. My kids are getting older and they don't 'need me' as much as they did as toddlers.

How is it that I still feel immense guilt when I work late or takes calls from the car as I drive them to practice? The car rides where we have time to talk about our day or complain about homework seem to be far and few between. Instead, as I fight rush hour traffic, I fumble with the mute button on my phone and tell the kids to 'zip it' so I can present my slide in a presentation or give an update from my department.

Do I think about giving it all up? The career? The money?

Sometimes...for a brief moment...it crosses my mind. The nights when dinner is served after 8pm or the days when I take a break from a long work day to say good-night to my kids. But I don't... I won't...my career is important to me, it's important to my family. I can only hope I am setting an example for my children. Living a life lesson that sometimes life has challenges and you must juggle many things to succeed. I work hard to define myself, to have my own identity.

I am an Aero ISC Procurement Manager and I LOVE MY JOB! I love the failures and the successes and the challenges that I overcome to get there. I hope that someday when my kids are grown and embark on their own identity path, they can look back at their mother and see me for who I am.

Tonya Devlin
Senior Manager, Project C&PS
Tonya Devlin is an Senior Manager, Project C&PS. She is currently based in Phoenix, Arizona.


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