Who am I?

May 10, 2018 | Author: Tonya Devlin

Every morning, I look in the mirror and ask myself...who am I today? 

I have multiple personalities and they can change by the hour.  I am a wife, a friend, a mentor, a mother and a manager.

There are moments when I'm not sure who I am.  I try to manage my identity crisis with calm and grace...that's my goal, but I do struggle with it.

As my career here at Honeywell has advanced, I find myself more at odds with my identity.  My kids are getting older and they don't 'need me' as much as they did as toddlers.

How is it that I still feel immense guilt when I work late or takes calls from the car as I drive them to practice? The car rides where we have time to talk about our day or complain about homework seem to be far and few between.  Instead, as I fight rush hour traffic, I fumble with the mute button on my phone and tell the kids to 'zip it' so I can present my slide in a presentation or give an update from my department. 

Do I think about giving it all up? The career? The money?  

Sometimes...for a brief moment...it crosses my mind.  The nights when dinner is served after 8pm or the days when I take a break from a long work day to say good-night to my kids.  But I don't... I won't...my career is important to me, it's important to my family.  I can only hope I am setting an example for my children.  Living a life lesson that sometimes life has challenges and you must juggle many things to succeed.   I work hard to define myself, to have my own identity. 

I am an Aero ISC Procurement Manager and I LOVE MY JOB!  I love the failures and the successes and the challenges that I overcome to get there.  I hope that someday when my kids are grown and embark on their own identity path, they can look back at their mother and see me for who I am.

Devlinfamily

 

TonyaDevlin

Tonya Devlin

Aerospace ISC Engines Procurement Manager

Tonya Devlin is currently based in Phoenix Arizona

Comments

 
 
   
  • Carolyn Paynes

    Tonya, thank you for sharing the many thoughts and experiences that are so real to many Mom's out there that are walking out a very similar journey to your own. We have to know that our sacrifices will be worth it all in the end. Who we are is what drives us to do what we do. We just have to remember to keep the end goals in mind. Thanks for all you do!

    Reply
  • Chris Rios

    This was excellent!!!

    Reply
  • Kristin

    Wonderful, thank you for sharing.

    Reply